i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
