Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
