If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
