So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
