You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
...so i touched it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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