the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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