I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
