do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
