how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
