Your tits are I can't wait for
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
