I just pynch a tree in the face
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
