I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I could make wine with my vomit
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
