My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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