too bad you live with your parents still
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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