I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
