why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
