is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
