Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
