Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
