Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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