Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
