Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
