their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
