we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were trust falling into bushes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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