how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize