I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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