I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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