I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
