She's JV to your varsity
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
