Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
