What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
