I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
