Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
