if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
