I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
