you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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