he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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