You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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