genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
