so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This toilet bowl is my home.
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