I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it's not cheating when I paid for it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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