i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
