I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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