I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
