Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
