you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
this boner is exhausting
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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