I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
