Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
