What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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