And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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