This girl is more easily done than said...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
