You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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