Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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